pektyur pektyur! ismayl!!!!

21.12.09

huling paalam...

last post for this year..

last day sa work, be travelling back to Philippines by tomorrow!

will be celebrating christmas, new year and my birthday sa pinas!

im sooooo sexcited! nyahahaha!

bye guys! will try to visit you... see you when i see you! LOL

19.12.09

all i want for xmas is??


updates:

- ilang araw nang pokus ang aking atensyon sa preparasyon ng paghand-over ng aking trabaho.. kelangan plantsado na muna ang lahat bago ako umalis.

- oo, tuloy na tuloy na ang pag-uwi ko ng pinas!! ilang araw na lang..

- nakaset na ang lahat, dumating na lahat ang mga boxes ko sa pinas nung isang araw pa.. katawang lupa ko na lang talaga ang kulang kasi pati isip ko e andun na rin! hehehe!

- malapit nang mapuno ang itinerary ko (na hanggang ngayon ay magulo pa rin) para na rin itong ngipin ni melai, na sabi nga nya e one-seat-apart! hehehe! eto, pilit pinagbabali-baligtad ang schedules, umaasang masisiksik pa lalo..

hayyyy… bakasyon ko na, pero curacho pa rin ata ako pagdating sa pinas?



---------------------


nga pala, tinanong ako ng nanay ko ano daw ba ang gusto kong matanggap na regalo ngayong pasko? mahirap na daw kasi akong bilhan ngayon kumpara noong bata pa ako.. ngayon lang ulit yun nagtanong, bigla tuloy akong kinabahan, baka kasi may kapalit yung regalo na ibibigay nya sa akin… hehehe!


nahirapan naman akong sumagot sa tanong nya! ano pa nga ba ang gusto ko?


naisip ko nga, ano pa bang mahihiling ko e “boom-boom-pow-boys-boohooss” na ang biyayang binigay ni papa jetut sa kin for this year.. and at this early, may present na ulit xa sa akin for next year! next time ko na lang kwento yun… (thanks so much papa jetut! kahit na nga seasonal na lang kung magparamdam ako sayo)


so much blessed ako this whole year, especially ng mga taong hindi nakalimot sa akin kahit na andito ako sa malayo. nadagdagan pa ng mga bago at espesyal na kaibigan mula dito sa blogosperyo. salamat sa inyo (kayo na hindi ko na kailangang pangalanan pa isa-isa) sa pagpatay nyo ng homesickness ko, sa pagbibigay ng panandaliang aliw, sa pagbibigay ng oras at atensyon at sa pagpapahalaga.. tenchu!


sa totoo lang, wala pa akong maisagot ngayon kung ano ba talaga ang gift na gusto kong matanggap, good health at peace of mind lang naman lagi ang gusto ko.. other than that, saka ko na lang siguro iisipin yun! sa ngayon, pinagkakakabalahan ko munang isipin kung ano ba ang makakapagpasaya sa mga taong nagpapasaya sa akin..


as of now, nagpapaka feeling contented, grateful and thankful na lang muna ako.. (insert my angelic halo here…) hehehe!



*pic from flickr*





5.12.09

dose...

"if i live for a million years i would be right there to catch your tears.."

Naaliw naman ako sa message mo na super unexpected ko. Sa totoo, hindi ko ino-open yung email na yun kaya post dated na nung mabasa ko ang email mo. At tama ang expectations mo, nagulat talaga ako. Hindi ko lubos maisip na mas inuna mo pang pagaksyahan ng malaginto mong oras ang pagsusulat ng mensahe mo para sa akin kaysa matulog. Nakakabagbag damdamin at nakakataba ng puso. Salamat.

at kung akala mo e palalampasin ko ang effort mo na walang response, well mag isip isip ka muna dahil nagkakamali ka.. Sasagutin ko lang ang mga sinabi mo punto por punto.. di ko lam kung natatandaan mo pa ang mga sinabi mo.. kung hindi, sori ka na lang…

Ang mahal naman!! Wala bang tawad? Hehehe!

Oist! Dudero talaga ako, kaya ganun.. wag ka nang magtaka, alam mo naman ang reasons kung bakit di ba?

At wag ka na rin magtaka kung bakit uto uto ako.. di ko din kayang ipaliwanag yun.. hehehehe! Parehas lang naman tayong madaling maawa, at dakilang tissue paper, sponge bob nga di ba? Oo, bad trip na rin tlaga minsan, pero di naman natin maiiwasan yun.. alangan naman umiiyak na sila palapit say o e bigla kang tumakbong papalayo dib a?? kaya yun, tipong makikinig pa rin kahit nakukulili na ang mga tenga natin sa paulit ulit nilang kwento at hinagpis sa buhay.. kahit nanggigigil na tayo at gusto natin pilipitin ang leeg nila.. at sabihing, “hello??!!! yan lang nagkakaganyan ka na?? Mas mabigat kaya ang problema ko sayo no???”

Astig naman ng meaning ng name mo.. alone, reserve.. pero di naman appropriate sa personality mo kasi well surrounded ka ng circle of friends mo.

Yung hirit mo sa akin na suhol, noon alam ko ang gusto mo pero bakit biglang nag-iba?? Hindi ko na tuloy magets..

Hindi naman perception ko lang na mayaman at matalino ka.. may basehan yun xempre.. teka, bakit di mo ata nabanggit na sinabi kong maganda at mabait ka? Di ba sinabihan din kita nun??

Wag kang mag-alala, nasa yo na ngayon ang pagkakataon para matupad ang matagal mo nang inaasam asam.. kaw naman, di ba?

Salamat din sa lahat.. gaya ng sabi mo, di pa ito goodbye, gusto ko din lang mag-thank you sa lahat ng oras na inaliw mo ako.. sa lahat ng oras na pinagtyagaan mo ang kakornihan, kababawan at pang-aasar ko sayo.. sino naman nagsabi sayo na di ka ok kausap? Ok nga tayo di ba? Puro may sense usapan natin di ba? hehehe!

Yaan mo, dahil mabuting nilalang ka, for sure gagantimpalaan ka nung nasa itaas.. nga pala, salamat sa paalala. Kelangan ko yan.. minsan kasi akala ko masyado na sya madami kausap kaya di na nya naririnig yung mga bulong ko pag madilim na ang aking kwarto.. salamat, salamat…

Di naman po ako nagpapauto sa sinasabi nila. Nabanggit ko na dati, pampabalubag loob lang yung pagtawag na bagong bayani sa akin.. di ako naniniwala dun..

sana nga sooner, di ko na kelangan umalis.. magtitinda na lang ako ng mga pirated triple x dvds at pilikmata ng kambing sa carriedo… malakas siguro kumita yun no? hehehe!

“kilala ako ng mga kaibigan ko sa paraang hindi mo ako kilala.. kialal mo ko sa paraang hindi nila ako kilala…” Yup, may tama ka jan. parehas tayo. Meron kang mga alam sa akin, na hindi ko pa nasabi kahit minsan sa mga matagal ko nang kaibigan. Same here, salamat sa pagkilala at pagtyatyaga sa akin… kung matter of choiceless-ness man yun or whatever.. thank you pa rin.

Ok na sana yung hirit mong sana magkrus yung landas natin isang araw, pero napaisip ako bigla na dahil gusto mo lang pala akong batukan… wehehe! Wag kang mag-alala, minsan habang naglalakad ka sa may sangandaan e may kakalabit sayo, ako yun… “ate, pangrugby lang ho…”

Ikaw pa lang ang nakilala kong nagpatugtog ng labindalawang beses ng isang kanta… at binilang kung ilang beses ito nagpaulit ulit sa pandinig… adik ka!

Ingat palagi! Iwas sa tukso at panganib.. laging magbehave, our savior is watching…

(o di ba? parang parehas lang ng mga sinabi mo ang mga pinagsasabi ko??) wehehehe!

1.12.09

idle mode

latest post status --- 2 weeks ago...

blog status --- nearing expiration mode

blogger status --- lurker / epal mode



wahahaha!!

walang kwentang blog! basura!!

poll question:

wala akong post lately.. ano ang possible three (3) reasons?

send your answers, may premyo.. promise!


LOL

17.11.09

cheezy bulilit



bulilit... bulilit... LOL

hangkyut talaga nitong batang to...

sarap kurutin sa pisngi!

8.11.09

sponge bob

Sadista ka kasi! Hindi sa sarili mo, pero sadista ka sa kapwa mo. Ipinanganak kang manhid at sadyang walang pakiramdam sa nararamdaman at sinasabi sayo ng mga taong nasa paligid mo. Nasanay ka na maraming taong nagpapahalaga sa yo.. Tuloy, di mo halos alam ang salitang konsiderasyon at pangunawa. Puro sarili mo na lang iniisip mo.

Pero tingin ko naman, di ka naman ganun kamanhid para di mo mapansin ang presensya ko.. Ilang birthday mo na ba ang nakalagpas sa akin? Wala. Ilang txt mo ba ang hindi ko nireplyan? Wala din. Ultimo smileys mo at wehehe, nagrereply pa rin ako. Kelan ba kita nahindian sa bawat paglalambing mo sa akin? Wala akong matandaan. Kahit nga pamasahe na lang matitira sa akin, kahit one week allowance ko pa yun, kahit nakalaan yun sa pambili ng regalo sa gf ko, basta nagrequest ka sa kin hindi ako makahindi sayo.

Di naman ako umasa sa kahit ano dati di ba? Para lang akong engot pagdating sayo, konting atensyon mo lang at wala kang kaeffort effort napapasaya mo na ako ng todo, old school. Kulang na nga lang siguro ay maging stalker mo ako…

Pero kahit sobrang gusto kita hindi naman ako nagkalakas ng loob na umamin sa yo, muntik na sana. Kung binigyan ko ng ibang kulay yung nangyari nung gabing iyon, tumambling sana ang ikot ng buhay natin ng 360 degrees. Pero di e.

Kasi nga masaya naman ako naman ako ng ganun ganun lang, at least di tayo kumplikado. Di bale nang magmukha akong uto-uto. Di bale nang invisible ako sa paningin mo pag wala kang kailangan sakin…

Ganun ka naman talaga di ba? Naaalala mo lang ako pag nasasaktan ka, pag kelangan mo ng maiiyakan, pag kelangan mo ng sasalo sa mga tagay mo, pag wala nang aalalay sayo kapag sobrang lasing ka na, pag wala nang magdadala sayo sa kama mo, pag walang hahawi ng buhok mo at hihimas sa likod mo habang akap akap mo yung toilet bowl, pag kelangan mo ng sasandalan sa tuwing natutulog ka sa loob ng jeep. Tutor mo, tagagawa ng term papers mo, instant date pag nag-away kayo ng bf mo.. Oo, dakilang alalay mo ako, tagasuporta mo.

Sadista ka kasi! Ngayon, pati sa sarili mo.. Tapos ngayon, ngayong nasasaktan ka na ng todo todong buhos at nahihirapan sa magulong buhay na pinasok mo, sa akin ka pa rin tatakbo? Hansarap mong patayin sa hug at lunurin sa pagmamahal!!!

Ikaw kasi! Bakit kasi gustong gusto mong laging kumplikado ang buhay mo? Hindi naman kita sinisisi sa desisyon mo pero bakit damay na naman ako? bakit ako na naman ang mamomroblema kung paano natin maaayos ang buhay mo?

Ano mo ba ako? Ano ba ako sayo?

Sabi ko nga makikinig ako, pero di ko ipinangakong aayusin ko ang lahat.

Pero di pa rin kita matitiis gaya ng dati… andito pa rin ako para sa yo. Tagasalo ng hinanakit mo, tagaplantsa ng gusot ng buhay mo, Tsk!

"Kung akin ka lang, sana hindi ka ganyan. Kaw kasi."

Pero alam kong di ko sasabihin sa yo yan.. kasi dalawa lang yan, baka nga maniwala ka o kaya e tawanan mo lang ako at dagukan!

Amfufu!

31.10.09

tulo

Lahat sila ay nagulat at halatang nais magtanong kung ano ba ang totoong nangyari sa akin.

Sa totoo lang, walang nag-akala na tatamaan ako nitong sakit na ito dahil alam naman nilang sobrang ingat ko. Ang di ko lubos maisip, bakit ako lang? Bakit sila na mga kasama ko sa mga nagdaang gabi e hindi naman? Hayun nga sila o, tawanan lang nang tawanan! Di maubos ubos ang kwento ng mga gago! E ako, nagmumukmok na nga lang dito sa mesa ko, panay kantyaw at sari-saring pang-aalaska pa rin ang inaabot ko. Asar-talo!

Di ko naisip na kahit nag-iingat ako e pwede pa ring mangyari sa kin ang isang bagay na hindi gugustuhin ninuman. Hindi naman ako naging pabaya kung yun ang iniisip ng iba sa akin. Sadyang di lang naiwasan ang maraming nagdaang pagkakataon.

Bukod sa mahirap, e syempre nakakahiya din namang talaga. Di ko magawa ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin at di ako makakilos ng normal. Lagi akong nasa toilet, di mapakali. Syempre, sa mga pasimple kong kilos at sa pananalita, nahahalata na rin ng iba kong kaopisina. Nakakahiya!

Alam ko naman kung paano gamutin ito. Pero bakit parang masyadong matagal na yata kaysa normal? Di ko na tuloy maiwasang mag-alala.

Siguro nga, masyado nang laspag ang aking katawang lupa nitong mga nagdaang ilang linggo, masyado ko kasing sinasagad. Humina tuloy ang aking resistensya para basta na lang tamaan ng ganitong nakakairita at nakakahiyang sakit.. Sana bukas paggising ko, medyo ok na ako at guminhawa naman kahit konti ang pakiramdam ko. Mahirap! Masakit! Nakakahiya!

Nyetang tumutulong ilong to! Sumabay pa sa makating ubo at gasgas na tonsil ko! amf!!

WANTED: “nar-es na may mapagkalingang kamay”

25.10.09

Sex, lust, lies & deceits

You just never know where a person is in his or her life and what they are going through. Never judge another person's scars, because you don't know how they got them...

Ibat iba ang klase ng tao. Each and one of us were made up by our mere choices and decisions in our lives. Same thing, kung ano man ang nais kong mensaheng iparating sa pamamagitan ng aking blog, ay maaaring iba sa pananaw o paniniwala ng sinumang makakabasa nito. Tabi–tabi po…

deceits

Di maitatanggi, madaming mga taong nag-eexist sa cyber world na nagtatago, mapagkunyari, at nasa likod ng mga mapanlinlang na anyo. Isa na ako dun. Nagkukubli sa likod ng isang maskara.
Pero sa isang payak at maliwanag na kadahilanang gusto ko pa ring malayang magsulat nang walang halong pagalilinlangan na mahusgahan at mamisinterpret, pero hindi upang magpanggap. Sa likod ng mga maskarang ito, masasabi kong malaya kong nasasabi at naisusulat ang gusto ko, walang pagkukuwari. Totoo.

Ngunit bakit nga kaya may mga taong kelangan pang gumamit ng ibang katauhan o pagmumukha? Para saan? Di ba, sino bang naloloko nila? Ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kanila o ang mismong sarili nila? Ano naman ang naging masayang parte sa pagkukunwari? Hanggang kelan? Hanggang sa puntong mismong sarili mo ay di mo na kilala ang totoong ikaw?? Nakakatawa. Nakakaawa. Nakakalungkot ang mga taong ganito.

Pero di ko sila masisisi…

“Never judge another person's scars, because you don't know how they got them... “

Lies

Hindi ako perpektong tao at lalong hindi ako santo. In my past, I’ve done bad things, terrible things. Merong ilan na hindi ko naisip noon na maaring makaapekto pala iyon sa aking decision making at reasoning sa pagdating ng panahon. Pero since past na yun, lessons learned na lang.
Oo, lying is one of those bad habits. But, narealize ko na part lang yun ng aking buhay, habang tumatagal nale-lessen ang lies sa buhay ko. Somehow, I learned how to stand with the truth and mustered enough courage to face the consequences behind it.

Why some people are really good at lying? O minsan bulag lang tayo o sarado ang isip para mapick-up kung alin ba ang totoo at hindi sa sinasabi nila? O sadyang magaling lang sila na magsinungaling? Unlike nung ibang tao na hindi maiwasang mangatal ang boses, manginig ang katawan, di mapakali o mamula ang mukha kapag nagsisinungaling sila.. very obvious di ba?
Pero habitual man, self-satisfying, o white lies para sa kahit kanino, di ko naman sila pwedeng basta husgahan…

“Never judge another person's scars, because you don't know how they got them...”


Lust

Isa daw sa seven deadly sins, pagnanasa.

I am speaking about lust, not necessarily pertaining to sexual desire pero pagnanasa sa kahit anong bagay para makuha ito, notwithstanding any hindrance to get it. How to distinguish eagerness to achieve something from lust? That I don’t know. And sometimes, willingly or not, sa sobrang kagustuhan nating makuha o magkaroon ng isang bagay we tend to bend our back and break some rules, may it be social or moral.

Ibat ibang rationale meron ang bawat isang tao kung bakit at pano nya ginagawa ang lahat para makuha ang isang bagay.

If that is to achieve his success in life, maganda yun kasi yung desire to succeed ang tumutulak sa isang tao para makuha ang ninanais nya, against all odds. But to the point of being a user and deceiving anyone or everyone just to gain something or anything that you want? That sucks!
I may be any of this kind, but I know my limitations and capacities. I know how to motivate myself to achieve my goals. I know when to break rules and I open myself for bad consequences. In my past, I may have even crossed some boundary lines and neglected other’s feelings but it’s just me. Kagaya mo. Di perpekto.

But, up to what point healthy ang lust at kelan masasabi na hindi na ito normal? Really, does the end not justifies the means?

“Never judge another person's scars, because you don't know how they got them...”

Sex

Studies proves that sex is healthy to our lives. It releases toxins and relieves tensions each time we do it. On the contrary, lack of sex usually shows irritability and bad mood. (may relevance ba ang pagiging masungit ng matatandang dalaga?? LOL)

Puzzled lang ako. Bakit may ilang taong sexually deprived pa rin although the truth is may mga asawa naman sila? Men are born polygamous. Pero what about yung mga babaeng naghahanap ng sexual life and satisfaction outside their marriage? Should anyone condemn them?

Sa isang pabirong rason ng isang tao na dumadanas ng ganitong sitwasyon; e kasi daw ilokano daw mister nya, pati daw sa sex e tinitipid sya! Pasintabi po sa mga ilokano, pero natawa naman ako sa joke na yun! Pati pala sex pwede ring tipirin??!! LOL

In simple conversation with one of your beautiful and married officemate, how would you react if she would divulge that she is currently enjoying sex with a complete stranger through chatting instead of doing the deed with her husband? Where having sex with her other half only causes her dissatisfaction and most of the times the feeling of rejection? Can you or should you blame her?

To simply open up herself to a complete stranger and discuss about her sex urges up to the point of fantasizing having sex with him, it’s a different course that most of us may sound absurd and taboo but for her it’s just her own way of liberating all her frustrations and humanly needs.
Others may hypocritely despise having this kind of sexual relationship. But can it be one valid reason, if your partner cannot satisfy or fulfill you sexual urges? I think it is a valid ground for annulment di ba?

But, in general view, no one can judge anyone on these cases, even me, dahil di ko naman alam ang totoong nararanasan and anong klaseng dilemma ang pinagdadaanan ng isang tao to do private things like that.

Universal truth, Sex is aligned with our primary needs such as food and shelter on the hierarchy of our basic needs.

However, kung isa ka sa mga above average level na kumikita ng more than enough, kumakain sa mamahaling resto, nabibili ang kahit anong gusto mo anytime, but then nakatali ka sa isang marriage na hindi kayang isatisfy ang sexual needs mo bilang isang tao, matakpan kaya ng material things ang pagiging hollow mo?

Who am I to judge? I have my own flaws and emptiness too..

"Never judge another person's scars, because you don't know how they got them..."



15.10.09

69

Malapit na ko… malapit na malapit na ako…

Ayan na ako…

Im comingggg!!!


Im coming home! And that’s sixty nine days na lang to be exact..

To start with, i am now tabulating the itinerary of my whole vacation..

So much to do, too little time.

Di ko lang sigurado kung alin alin ang masusunod sa lahat ng “to-do-list” ko, like what happened on my last year’s list.. Need to prioritize people and events first.

However, isa lang ang sigurado, ngayon ngayon pa lang naeexcite na ako… LOLZ

11.10.09

maglaway ka!!

di ko maiwasang mangiti tuwing maririnig ko ang countdown sa tv tuwing umaga sa aking paggising… ipinagbibilang nila ako! at syempre pa araw-araw na nadadagdagan ang aking pananabik…

oo, malapit na akong umuwi!! masyado silang excited magbilang! ang totoo, maraming tulog pa.. pero, mabilis lang talaga ang paggulong ng araw. halos di ko nga namalayan na makaka isang taon na naman pala ako dito!


at dahil sa nalalapit na ang aking bakasyon… unti-unti ko nang sinasariwa sa aking alaala ang mga super namimiss ko nang pagkain. at eto ang mga pinaglalawayan ko ngayon pa lang…

1. Fishball, Kikiam, squid ball - sobrang miss ko to! yung pakikipag-unahan sa pagtusok at pagsawsaw sa suka at sarsang manamis namis na maanghang... kasunod ang nakakapasong pagsubo! saraaappp!!
2. Tokneneng/Kwekwek - nami-miss ko na ang pagcommute sa lrt recto station.. andun ang samu't saring tindahan ng street foods na wala sa street.. may isa pa, yung "tukneneng na balut" sarap nun! with suka, asin at sweet and chili sauce... hmmmm...
3. Balut - sa sobrang mahal ng presyo ng balut dito, di ko maenjoy ang pagkain nyan ngayon .. kaya pag-uwi ko, titira talaga ako ng balut! balut sa puti, penoy sa balut... pero hinding hindi ng balut sa brief!!! ewwww!!

4. Isaw, betamax, balat, balunan, tenga ng baboy, adidas, BBQ - yung mabangong usok ng iniihaw, malinamnam na sauce, mura at mabibili lang dyan sa kanto. nakakapaglaway...

5. Goto at lugaw with matching tokneneng/tokwa at isaw - syempre dagdagan mo pa ng dahon ng sibuyas, sinunog na bawang, toyong may sili tapos pigaan mo pa ng kalamansi!! saraaappp!!


6. Pansit Habhab - eto talaga ang pansit na kinalakhan ko na sa aming probinsya. madalas ko itong hinahanap hanap lalo na ngayon. tradisyonal na paraan ng pagkain nito ang hindi paggamit ng kutsara o tinidor, kelangan mo syang kainin sa dahon ng saging gamit lang ang iyong bibig. the best kung may sukang maanghang!

7. Pansit (Tamis anghang) - pansit na miki/sariwa, manamis namis na maanghang.. masarap kung mainit at masarap ding iulam sa kaning lamig..

8. Tinapa - the best sa almusal with matching sinangag na kanin at sunny side up at hot choco o kape..

9. Tahong - pwedeng baked tahong o simpleng luto lang sa sprite ok na! (wag nang titigan ang tahong, baka lalong maparami ang kain mo parekoy! paalala malakas makahighblood)

10. Inihaw na spareribs - needless to explain, sobrang miss ko na to... syempre dapat may toyo, sili at kalamansi para sawsawan!

11. Lechon paksiw - manamis namis na maasim na mainit na paksiw.. peyborit part ko, dila.. (oo, mahilig talaga ako sa dila e...) LOL

12. Dinuguan - masarap sa puto, sa bagong lutong kanin or sa kaning lamig..

13. Adobong Pata ng baboy - trip ko to, pag yung sobrang lambot ng pagkakaluto yung halos humihiwalay na yung laman sa buto tapos medyo malapot ang sabaw? sarap!! masarap to kahit lumamig na, at nagsesebo ung sabaw, with matching kaning lamig..


14. Bopis - sa totoo lang, di ko pa rin maalis ang aking sarili sa pagkaadik sa bopis kaya kahit andito ako tyaga ako sa beef bopis... pramis! babawi ako pag-uwi ko! sarap kaya nyan sa kaning lamig o kaya sa hot pandesal! yum yum!
15. pinangat na laing - lumaki akong laging nakakatikim neto, lalo na noong di pa nagpunta ng esteyts ang aking mahal na lola... isa sa pinakamasarap na laing na natikman ko ang kanyang luto. hindi ko alam kung anong sikreto ng kanyang gata, pero basta hinahanap hanap ko yun... at irerequest ko talaga sa pag-uwi din nya sa bakasyon ko! (ngayon pa lang naglalaway na ako... wehehe)
16. Pritong tuyo - masarap na kaulam ng pagkasarap sarap na daing.. da best din sa champorado.. o kahit sa simpleng mainit na kanin... wag kalimutan ang sawsawang suka.. hmmmm...
17. longganisang lucban - eto ang siguradong niluluto pa lang e nagugutom at naglalaway ka na! mantika pa lang ulam na! sarap!

18. ice cold beer - pero hindi yang nasa taas... dahil yan ang pinagtitiisan ko dito... yan ang NAB (Non-Alcoholic-Beer)... syempre eto naman ang gusto kong sumayad sa tigang na lalamunan ko...



19. chicharong bulaklak - at syempre ito ang masarap pulutan sa nagyeyelong beer, ang malutong at pampahighblood na chicharong bulaklak! ihanda na ang sukang sawsawan!

20. sizzling PORK sisig - pulutan o ulam, hindi ko ito uurungan! konting piga ng kalamansi, konting durog ng sili, samahan ng paghalo ng itlog... yum yum yum!!

21. crispy pata - syempre di ito papahuli sa listahan ng mga pinaglalawayan ko! malutong na malutong at mainit sabay sawsaw sa pinaghalo halong toyo, ketchup, kalamansi, sibuyas at sili! perfect pampaalta -- crispy pata!
22. lechon baboy - mamantika, malutong na balat at masarap na sauce.... tsalap!
23. inihaw na pusit - eto ang hindi ko mapigilang lingunin at singhot singhutin sa tuwing madadaanan ko... ambango! kakagutom!
23. sweet & spicy chicken feet adobo - sobrang miss ko na to! naiisip ko pa lang ngayon, naglalaway na talaga ako!


24. mangga at bagoong - syempre hindi yan mawawala sa listahan ko... daig pa ang naglilihi... kakapangasim!


25. santol - hindi naman ako masyadong mahilig sa santol, pero kapag naiisip ko yung asin na may kahalong dinurog na sili, naglalaway talaga ako...

26. choc nut - di maipagpapalit sa kahit anong chocolate dito, iba pa rin ang kiliting naiibigay nito sa aking dila.. (di ko pa masyadong namimiss yan, meron pa akong "hany" dito, kaso dalawang piraso na lang at kelangang amuy-amuyin na lang muna hanggang magbakasyon ako... wehehe!)
at syempre... sa tagal kong nawala, eto ang pinakana-miss ko ng sobra....

wag kang mag-isip ng kung ano..
nami-miss ko lang ang aking kumot, kama at unan! wahahaha!!
at kagaya ko.... maglaway ka din!! wehehe!

salamat sa mga pektyur:
photobucket/flikcr / goggle

27.9.09

wan.. tu.. tri... say seexxxx...


smile and the world smiles with you..

mula sa paggulong gulong, pagtalbog talbog, pag-epal at pagtumbling sa ibat ibang mga kwarto dito sa blogosperyo medyo may ilan na rin akong nakilala, at nabasang mga posts. ibat ibang klase ng approach sa buhay, ibat ibang sigaw… ibat ibang paraan ng paglalabas ng saloobin.. merong iba na nakakapagpataas ng kilay at nakapanlalaki ng aking mga mata…

pero syempre alangan naman pakialaman ko sila sa mga posts nila… as if naman na napakagaling kong magsulat ng WALA? at saka blog nila yun e! baka mamaya nyan, masabihan pa ako ng “keber mo??” o kaya “walangbasagan ng trip!”… kaya nga apply ko na lang ulet ang walang kamatayang “do not talk when your mouth is full… of shit!”

obserbasyon ko lang, kung may sense ang idinadakdak mo sa blog mo, siguradong maraming interesadong magbasa neto… malamang masarap ang palitan ng komento at kuro-kuro at kahit cbox mo ay magbabaga sa mga gustong maki-epal sa post mo.

kung puro emo at senti ka sa blog mo, meron ilan lang na makikiusyuso lang at meron din naman na handang makinig sayo. Pero ang totoo, nakakasawa din naman na puro negative energies na lang ang napupulot mo di ba?

kasi ako din naman, kaya ako tumatalon talon sa iba ibang kwarto e para malibang at mapangiti.. hindi para lalong ma-down.. ewan ko lang kung may mga taong sadyang masochist na gustong gustong nasasaktan ang sarili nila … at kahit naman hindi karelate-relate yung sitwasyong pinagdadaanan nila e pilit nakikirelate sa nababasa nila! (hahaha! may ganun ba talagang klase ng tao?lol)

kung temang mga suicidal naman ang post mo, tiyak maraming eepal at makikiawat sayo… at yun ang masarap… katulad din ng pakikipagbasagan ng muka sa kanto, hindi ito masarap kung walang umaawat o pumipigil sayo.

kung temang berde o minimal na kahalayan, usually medyo patok yan. basta lang di masyadong bulgar or bastos. pero depende rin syempre sa nagbabasa yan at sa paraan ng iyong pagkakalarawan. pero ako, aminado ako na nakikiliti ang imahinasyon ko sa mga ganun klaseng posts… e para ano pa na “an indecent mind” ako di ba? LOL

all time favorite pa rin ng marami sa atin ang mga patawang post. pwedeng paglalarawan ng mga nakakatawang pangyayari sa araw araw na buhay, mga di pangkaraniwang pagkakataon, mga nilulumot na at hinalungkat sa baul na mga jokes (pero di mo pa rin maiwasan mangiti kapag nabasa mo ulit), mga nakakatawang pektyurs, mga pasaway na pabobong linya, at kung ano ano pa…

at syempre, andyan pa rin ang pangangampanya sa cbox ng kung sino sino para may bumasa ng bagong entry… (ooppsss… bato bato sa langit…) pero di ko trip to…

pero, what the heck! walang pakialamanan… kanya kanyang blog , kanya kanyang trip… as long as wala akong nasasagasaan na kahit na sino, i will maintain my freedom of speech and expression.. hanggat akoy natatawa, nadadarang, nasasaktan, at nalilibugan, isusulat ko lahat yun… “keber mo??” (pahiram ulit!)..pasalamat pa rin ako… dahil dun alam kong normal na tao pa rin ako, may emosyon.

smile, and the world smiles with you… simple lang, tawa lang tayo. lahat ng bagay kahit gaano kabigat, may solusyon. always think positive, and you’ll see..

para po sa mga walang sawang pabalik balik sa kwartong ito, sa mga naligaw, sa mga sumisilip at hindi nagpaparamdam man lang, sa mga tahimik na komento, sa mga nagbibigay ng saloobin, sa mga nagtaas ng kilay, sa mga natawa at nakaramdam ng kalungkutan.. maraming salamat po at mabuhay po kayo!

23.9.09

larawang kupas


laking katangahan at kabobohan… gaya ng dati, di na naman ako nag-isip. tsk!


alam kong alam mo kung gaano ko siya iningatan nung time na dumating sya sa buhay ko at ipinagpasalamat ko yun sayo ng todo-todo.. may point pa nga na naiinggit ka, na sana ikaw at hindi siya ang nandito at yakap yakap ko..


sa gitna ng pag-uunahan ng mga kabog ng aking dibdib at silakbo ng aking dugo, di ko talaga napigilang mapamura sa panghihinayang at panlulumo habang bumabalot sa aking katauhan ang katotohanan ng unti unting pagtagas ng larawan ng makulay mong ngiti..


ikaw agad ang pumasok sa isipan ko, natakot agad ako sa katotohanang baka isipin mong binalewala ko ang isang bagay na importante sa yo. sa sulok ng aking isipan, pilit kong iwinawaksi ang agam-agam na tanda din yun ng kasabay mong paglaho sa buhay ko..


alam ko, ang nangyari ay bunga lang ng isang malaking katangahan at makitid na pag-iisip. sa pagdating ng araw at ako’y iyong sumbatan o ika’y magdamdam, hindi kita masisisi.. pero nangyari ito sa paraang di ko ginusto o pinlano..


pasensya na kung naging pabaya ako..

19.9.09

paramdam.....

"I can see dead people"… linya mula sa movie na The Sixth Sense…

Hindi pa nangyari sa akin yun… although may other stories ako to tell about it, some other time..

But lately, I’ve been encountering various people, not only here in blogosphere but also from chat rooms, and hearing their sickness-related stories.

Mere coincidence or God’s will, hanggang ngayon di ko pa rin makuha ang message nung nasa itaas kung bakit Niya ako ipinakikilala sa kanila.

Significantly, I’ve been nursing my kidneys since grade school. I was diagnosed with failing kidneys, at tinakot ng tadong doktor na yun ang mga magulang ko! Sabihin ba naman na isang taon na lang daw ang itatagal ng mura at virgin kong katawan! Abay e di syempre ka naman at super sakit nun sa damdamin ng mga mapagmahal kong magulang!

Kaya pala kung alagaan ako dati e ganun ganun na lang… at as usual, andun yung mga pagkaing makikita mo lang kapag maysakit ka at kung kelan wala kang gana at talagang napakahirap kumain… Kaya pala ganun na lang ang galit at pagpipilit ng tatay ko pag ayaw nang tanggapin ng katawan ko ang mga gamot na halos sinlaki ng buto ng langka (at meron ding hugis ataul!)… akala ko galit siya sa akin dahil sinasayang ko yung mga gamot kaya nya ako pinapagalitan, yun pala ayaw pa din naman nyang mawala ako ng ganun kaaga..

Di ko alam kung bakit tumagal pa ako ng ganito, at kung paano ako gumaling… dahil sa tagal kong maysakit e may mga pagkakataong dinaya ko na din sila na kunyari ay ininom ko nga yung mga gamot..

Nakita siguro ni Bro na may malaki pa akong papel na gagampanan sa mundo (maybe I can save the world mula sa prediction ni Nostradamus sa 2012) at marami pa syang plano para sa akin kaya di nya tinapos ang talambuhay ko nang ganon ganon na lang…

At eto nga ako ngayon… gaya pa rin ng dati… nag eenjoy pa rin sa pakete ng maaalat at mamantikang junk foods… wala talagang magagawa… matigas ang ulo e! dinadaan na lang sa pag-inom ng isang timbang tubig at isang galong sabaw ng buko pagkatapos namnamin ang sarap ng lasong papatay sa akin!

Kaya nga siguro ako pasimpleng binabatukan ni Bro.. medyo matauhan man lang daw ako sa ginagawa ko sa aking katawang lupa.. Ipinapaalala na minsan sa aking buhay, sa gitna ng aking pagkakaratay, e ipinangako ko sa kanyang aalagaan kong mabuti itong katawang to pagalingin lang nya ako…

Kaliwat kanang pagbatok ang ipinanggising sa kin… una e para alagaan ko ang sarili ko… ikalawa ay dahil “minsan nakakalimot” na din akong makipagkwentuhan sa Kanya. Oo nga naman, hindi naman rason na porket wala syang “bahay” dito e nangangahulugan iyong dapat ko na rin syang kalimutang kamustahin man lang…

Sori bro…

16.9.09

kwento ka.. yung masaya naman..

hintay ka lang..

makakapagkwento din ako sayo, yung nakakatawa naman. hindi puro negatibong enerhiya at himutok na lang ang ipinapasa ko sayo. tama ka naman, di ako dating ganito. meron lang akong pinagdadaanan sa ngayon. madaming gumugulo sa kakarampot kong utak, na mukhang nagsarado na at di magawang tumanggap ng paliwanag at nagpipilit maniwala… sa wala.

pero sana bukas paggising ko, ako na ulit yung dating nakilala mo.


yung palaging bangka sa usapan, ako na parang hindi nauubusan ng kwento. oo, bilib ka nga sa akin di ba? at hinahanap mo yung dating ako kasi walang maingay at magulo at nang-aaway sa yo ngayon.

bukas siguro, paggising ko ok na.


ako na ulit ang magbibigay sayo ng panadaliang aliw. pangako, hindi kita tatantanan hanggat di ka naluluha at sumasakit ang tiyan at panga sa katatawa. hindi kita titigilang patawanin hanggat di ka nakikiusap sa akin na tama na…

pero sa ngayon favor lang, kaw muna.. “kwento ka.. yung masaya naman..”

12.9.09

the one that got away

in your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. there's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that got away.

who is the one that got away? i guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong.

there was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, i suppose.

i believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. i can actually agree that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. it has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

how often have you gone through it without even realizing it? when you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. small problems become big; in consequentials become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. it's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

then one day you're ready. you really are. and when this happens, you'll be ready to settle down with someone. he or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. it'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. and it'll make sense, it really will.

so that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. and mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. hopefully you're still single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. all you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. you'll think about them because you'll wonder, "what if they were today?" you'll wonder, "what if we were together now, with me as i am and not as i was?" that's what the one that got away is. the biggest "what if?" you'll have in your life.

if you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. but hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. it's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. in which case it's the same thing. you just have to accept and know that you're memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

but if neither of that is the case, then it's different. what do you do if it's not yet too late? simple... find him, find her. because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?

ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. you'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

you might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. if the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, i'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

4.9.09

reading between the lines

* pakiclick mo muna yung play button sa jukebox ko sa kanan.*

 

Wag mo sanang iisipin na sa bawat nagdadaang araw na wala akong kibo ay binabalewala na kita.


Ang totoo, hinahanap hanap ko pa rin ang araw araw mong presensya na tila ba nakasanayan ko na.. Umaasa pa rin ako na sa aking paggising sa bawat umaga ay andun ang mensahe mong magguguhit ng ngiti sa aking mga labi, gaya ng dati.


Sa bawat pagtatapos ng pagsambit ng aking panggabing panalangin, at kasabay ng mahigpit kong pagyakap sa aking paboritong malambot na unan, andun pa rin ang pagbabakasakaling kahit sa panaginip ko, kahit sandali lang ay makapiling ka.


Oo, nananahimik ako ngunit hindi dahil sa gusto na kitang makalimutan. Nananahimik ako dahil parang nauubusan na ako ng dahilan upang gawin ang mga bagay na dati ay nakakapagpasaya sa kin. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun ay binubura na kita sa buhay ko; ikaw at ang masasaya nating mga alaala.


Ang totoo, pilit kong nililibang ang aking sarili sa ibang bagay. Ngunit, nakakapagtakang sa bawat pagpipilit, para namang biro na may mga bagay at pangyayari na pilit na naguugnay at nagpapalaala sa yo, at sa hindi mabilang na pagkakataon ay di ko pa rin mapigilan na sandaling mapatigil sa kung anumang ginagawa ko. Di maitatanggi, hanggang ngayon ay bigo pa rin ako na pilitin na huwag kang sumagi sa aking isipan; kahit isang araw man lang.


Tahimik man ang parehong mga mundo natin ngayon, at malayo, alam kong pareho tayo ng nararamdaman. Kahit wala kang sinasabi, hindi mo man ipaliwanag, naiinitindihan kita. Hindi kita pinaghahanapan, wala kang pagkukulang, alam ko at naniniwala ako sayo.


Nalulunod ako sa iyong kawalan. Pilit akong naghahanap ng makakapitan. Pero, hindi ako bumibitaw sa aking mga pangako, at kailanman hindi ko magagawang lunukin ang aking mga binitiwang salita.


Hindi naman dito natatapos ang lahat. Kahit kailan, walang kwenta ang kwentong walang ending di ba?


Nananahimik lang ako, dahil iniisip kita.

15.8.09

sobra ka na sa tulog!

nag-eenjoy ka ba sa buhay mo ngayon?

tagumpay ka sa pag-aaral at karerang napili mo. may maipagmamalaking trabaho. magandang takbo ng pinaghirapang negosyo. malaking bahay. magarang kotse. limpak limpak na salapi. marangyang pamumuhay.

tanyag ka at sikat sa iyong propesyon. maraming naiinggit sa narating mong estado sa buhay. maraming gustong dumikit sa iyong kilalang pangalan.

marami kang kaibigan. mga totoong kaibigan. may buo at masayang pamilya. maraming nagmamahal at nag-aalaga sa iyo, maraming naghahangad na mabigyan mo man lang sila ng kahit konti mong atensyon.

ngunit naisip mo ba kahit isang beses lang, na paano na kung lahat ng ito, lahat ng tinatamasa mo ngayon at ang buong buhay mo, ay parte lang pala ng isang napakahabang panaginip?

mula sa iyong pagkakaidlip sa realidad at sa pagmulat mo ng iyong mga mata ay lahat ng inakala mong totoo at nakakapagpasaya sa yo ay ang eksaktong kabaligtaran pala ng katotohanan ng iyong pagkatao?

paano mo ipagpapatuloy ang iyong buhay kaibigan? san ka mag-uumpisa?

8.8.09

Was working abroad for a quarter of a century worth it?

Paalala: isang mahabang re-post patungkol sa buhay ng isang OFW. mahaba pero makabuluhan.
By Mike Bolos Jr. 08/08/2009 11:37 AM

Editors Note: The story is from the book “Migrants’ Stories, Migrants’ Voices 1" published by the Philippine Migrants Rights Watch (PMRW) with the support from Cordaid, an international development organization based in the Netherlands. The book contains a collection of 12 stories of the realities of migration as experienced by overseas Filipino workers and their families. abs-cbnNEWS.com obtained permission from PMRW to publish the stories online
It was by accident that I worked abroad. My younger brother asked me for placement fee. Unfortunately, he was illegally recruited, so I ran after the recruiter. As payment for my brother’s being gypped, the recruiter referred me to an employer in Saudi for a job in accounting.I was immediately interviewed and hired, without going through POEA. Since I already have a passport, I was able to leave for the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (KSA) in a week’s time.
I left for KSA in February 1980 to work for a small-sized Saudi-owned travel agency as an accountant. I was 27 years old then, completed a BS in Accounting. I have been working as an accounting clerk all through my college years until I left for Saudi Arabia. I have just taken the Board Examination the year before. I was already in Riyadh when I heard I passed.
I was young and idealistic. I wanted to work like I’ve been working professionally here in the Philippines and do things in KSA the way things are done in the Philippines. But I found out that Saudis are too hands-on and by nature do not trust others. At first, I did not realize that I had to keep a low profile especially since I come from a Third World country. They expected me to do only as I was told.
The first two years of my employment was worst than I could imagine. I was very miserable mainly because of the clash of cultures. Fortunately, before the two years were up, I was able to find another employer.
When I was about to leave my first Saudi employer, he must have realized my worth and capabilities in spite of our bad start since he tried hard to make me stay on.
Early Years in Saudi Arabia
Many Kapampangans are migrant workers, in Manila or elsewhere in the Philippines or abroad. Hence, when I decided to work in KSA, working abroad was a common thing in our province.
What made me decide to work abroad? My salary was not enough to buy a house and lot and send my children to good schools. Few OFWs then would have long-term plans because Saudi jobs are very temporary. One usually gets to work for one renewal of a contract, totaling to about four years, then one need to look for another job. I was one of the few who worked there with practically no break for 25 years.
After my vacation, in the Philippines, in March 1982 I worked as an accountant in GAMMA Services LTD., another Saudi-owned but Western-managed company, which is into health care management. It was a progressive company and I was able to show my best. I rose through the ranks, first as senior accountant in 1983 then as accounting manager in 1985, as assistant corporate comptroller based in the head office in1987 until I retired in 2005.
While with GAMMA, I was also involved with its various companies and subsidiaries and was always a part of the opening crew or start-up team assigned to organize the finance and accounting department of its various projects so I went around and traveled a lot. As such, I held the position of Chief Financial Officer in the interim and stayed on until the project stabilized. When they hired my permanent replacement I went back to the home office.
My Children
When I left for Saudi, my two girls were four and five-year old, and later I also had a son. I think I did not fail as much with them, except for the fact that I was not there when they were growing up and when they needed a father most. I thought that since there were many children like them with fathers working away from home, either in Manila or abroad, they were kind of psychologically prepared to miss me.
Even when my children were still young, we traveled together often, around Asia, in the US as well as in Europe. I was able to send my two daughters to good schools. They did well academically. One of them completed a BS in Hotel and Restaurant Management. She is now married to a dentist, has two kids and she put up a drugstore. The other daughter completed a BS in Pharmacy and has electronics and internet business interests.
The problem I encountered with my children was in relating with them when they were growing up. They would be spending money left and right, as if to punish me. One was more responsible in handling financial matters, but our separation may have affected her adversely. For instance, to date she has not gotten married. The other daughter really maximized the credit card I gave her while she was studying abroad.
I think my daughter Michelle can better appreciate now this issue of migration and its social costs. She is now a professional. It is easier to say now that she wished mothers would not need to tell their children they have to work abroad to buy food and to send them to school – it is a lot easier for someone who is not financially poor or suffering. But we do not live in an ideal world. Definitely, they enjoyed the luxuries my work abroad provided them. It is definitely different from those who cannot afford such luxuries.
I know of OFWs who return to the Philippines for good only to be back in Saudi after six months, crying that it was difficult to tighten up belts and their children themselves told them to go back abroad..
My Relationship with my Wife
However, I failed as a husband. My wife and I got married in 1975, while I was still studying. It is possible that at that time my wife already had some feelings of insecurities. These feelings intensified because of our longer separation and lack of communication or miscommunication.
At that time, the main form of communication was letters and it took a month for letters to reach and get reply from Saudi. Telephone calls were expensive, costing $5/min. In fact, the best communication channel for a Kapampangan OFW is the “padala” or the “OFW postman” with OFWs and their partners networking sufficiently that every week, at least one OFW is leaving or returning to Saudi. With promotion that is not common for OFWs and for whom, compared with Westerners, it is tougher to achieve and therefore one’s performance has to be glaringly better, I became very busy with work forgetting to communicate with her.
I was away for two years for my first contract and could take vacation only once a year in my early years with GAMMA. After ten years, I was coming home more frequently, but I think it was too late to repair the damage in our relationship. I think I took my wife for granted, neglected her and failed to address this problem soon enough.
During our vacations with our children, I think my children were feeling miserable when for a tiny thing my wife and I would argue and fight. I felt we were just wasting money on our vacations.
Later on, our relationship further deteriorated and became so intolerable. It was like for as long as she holds our marriage contract she could not give up and continued messing up with my life even if we were actually separated because she has some “right” over me.
Thus, there was no choice but to part ways. In fact, the children helped finalize the separation. They talked to their mother and advised her to move on with her life. Much later, we got our marriage annulled. I think the children took it well. It was for the better for all of us and we all now enjoy peaceful coexistence.
Self-Development
I am a natural and fast learner. Even if there is not much opportunity to develop and advance oneself professionally in KSA, I learned to use the computer on my own in the early 80s, which helped me tremendously to succeed in the company.
To progress in my job, I had to learn international financial market and the financial derivatives which were still new in the 80s. I applied these knowledge in my job in the company, and as a result I got to shine in the job which is not an easy thing to do for someone from a Third World country.
KSA is very particular about nationality, whether Westerner, Asian and Middle Easterner. The employers’ qualifications are biased for Western qualifications as manifested in their different pay, different regard and greater respect for Western people.
To prove to my employer that the educational qualifications of Filipinos are just as good as any others, I corresponded with the University of Illinois to have my Philippine qualifications recognized. Fortunately, they gave me the equivalence and was allowed to take the US CPA State Board examination in 1995.. I passed, and got accredited and therefore became “Western-qualified”. Thus, when I was managing the Finance Department of a big hospital, I was considered as good as any “Westerner.”
Interactions with the Filipino Community
Earlier in my career, I traveled a lot so while the Embassy Officials and Filipino leaders knew me, I was not visible in Filipino community affairs and organizations. However, being an executive in a big company with thousands of Filipino employees, it was unavoidable that I had to mingle with the Filipino community. I came out of my shell during the time of President Estrada when I joined e-Lagda. I became totally immersed in the community during the Overseas Absentee Voting campaign.
When already financially better off in the mid 80s, I started helping my hometown, particularly my high school, the Betis National High School in Guagua, Pampanga. I contributed financially to improve some school facilities (e.g. basketball court, rooms.). I also arranged for the shipment of books from the US through the Books for the Barrios Program.
Later, I gave scholarships to high school students and college students. These college scholars, from poor but deserving families and who have to pass qualifying exam, only had to study and did not have to worry over their tuition fees, books, uniforms and school materials and were given P3000 monthly allowance for their transportation and miscellaneous expenses. My daughter, Michelle, managed it for me. In return, they had to maintain 1.75 grade average. I also had scholars whom I did not even get the chance to meet in person like the scholar from Bulacan, endorsed by Center for Migrant Advocacy, who graduated cum laude.
I also donated to social programs like the Bahay Kalinga in Riyadh and the Bantay Bata. I once paid for Bahay Kalinga’s TFC subscription and provided tools and materials (e.g. computers, sewing machines, pots and pans, etc.) for its livelihood training program. The Bantay Bata used my donation for its anti-child abuse program. I also provided medicines for the embassy’s medical missions. I supported individual medical cases like cancer patients and contributed tickets for stranded OFWs needing repatriation.
I come from a poor family. This is my way of paying back society – my way of showing my appreciation for what I have accomplished.
Is it Worth Working Abroad?
Was working abroad worth it? I do not know. At my personal level, I know what I got out of it and what I achieved. I know I tried hard and proved I could do it. I worked hard in my profession and I think I was a financial success. But my marriage and my children suffered. But life is not all that perfect.
Hence, to me, working abroad doesn’t seem really worth it. If you were to ask me, I think it is still best to work here, close to one’s family. This is the best situation because money is not everything, especially for women. It is tough enough for a family when the father is not there. It is even tougher when it is the mother who is not around to hold the family together.
In terms of our country, ideally, we should find jobs here. There should be no need to go abroad. At the same time, people should be free to make choices, to travel and to find jobs when there are none here. But the social costs are just too great. The greatest advantage of working abroad then seems to be the financial gains.
OFWs should maximize their stay abroad. They should not waste their time and resources because they can do something, in fact a lot, with their time abroad that can contribute to their early return to the Philippines. They should continue learning and improving themselves so that they do not have to work abroad forever. They should maximize their stay abroad because they are paying such a high price for it. They should preserve and not squander their earnings (e.g. on consumer goods like electronics, cell phones, and signature goods).
They should save and invest their earnings well so that when they return home they would not have to start from zero. Savings no matter how small will eventually amount to something over time if done consistently and invested wisely..
Based on my experience, I would enjoin the OFWs now to exert everything possible to preserve their families at all costs. Knowing then what I know now, I would have done things differently to preserve my own. Despite the distance, the OFWs should try to be as close to their children as possible so that they will not become delinquent children.
It appears to me that the risk is high and the probability is great that the children may not grow up like those with both parents around them most of the time. In which case, is the social cost worth it? Most OFWs would say they had no choice.
tinamaan talaga ako sa post na to... tama naman sya, hindi pera pera lang. hindi habambuhay ang pagiging OFW, mas masarap ang sama samang naeenjoy ng family mo at ikaw mismo ang lahat ng pinaghirapan mo... sana nga, may matutunan at mapulot tayong aral sa buhay ng may akda.

4.8.09

patay na ako, invited ka

di ko maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko nung napanood ko sa tv kagabi ang procession ng remains ni former pres. aquino. sobrang dami ng tao. tingin ko, marami dun e nakikiusyuso lang, pero sigurado ako outnumbered naman yun nung mga totoong nagdadalamhati sa pagkawala nya..

sabi nga nila, kapag nawala na ang isang tao, dun mo daw makikita kung anong klaseng tao ba siya nung nabubuhay pa. kung madami bang nagpupuyat sa kanyang lamay, at kung madami bang nakikidalamhati sa kanyang libing. At manghihinayang sa kanyang pagkawala.

napagisip-isip ko, pag ako kaya ang namatay, madami kayang pupunta at sisilip sa akin?

ilan kaya ang pipirma sa aking “log book”?

ilan kaya ang hindi matatakot sumilip sa akin sa loob ng aking kabaong?

ilan ang matatawa sa kapal ng aking make-up?

o pilit sisilip kung may suot ba akong sapatos?

ilan kaya ang matutuwa sa aking pagpanaw? o totoong malulungkot at magdadalamhati?

pupunta din kaya yung mga nakaaway ko? sabihan kaya ako ng “sabi ko sayo una-una lang yan”?

meron pa rin kaya na magdadalawang isip na makita ako sa huling pagkakataon?

ilan kaya ang mag-effort na ipagpaliban ang kanilang importanteng schedule para lang makasama sa paghahatid sa akin sa libingan?

may eksena kayang “sasama ako! sasama ako! nyeta! bakit nyo ko itinulak??!” LOL

Trivia,
1. nagpupunta ako sa patay, pero bilang lang talaga ang pagkakataon na sumisilip ako sa kabaong, duwag kasi ako e! napapanaginipan ko kasi yung patay!
2. allergic at sensitive ang aking pagmumukha sa make-up, kaya ibibilin kong wag akong lagyan ng makeup kasi baka tigyawatin ako! LOLZ
3. tanong lang, kelangan ba talagang nakasapatos pa? oo sige, ibibilin ko na dapat suot ko ang aking chucky.
4. hindi ako palakaibigan, suplado akong tingnan, mapili ako sa kaibigan at hindi ako madaling magtiwala. Konti lang ang tunay na kaibigan ko… Wish ko lang, kahit dun man lang e makumpleto naman kami!
5. totoo bang masamang magdala ng kahit anong pagkain galing sa lamay? o sige, eat all you can sa burol pag ako ang namatay! pero subukan mong magdala ng kahit isang piraso ng kendi pauwi, kakamutin ko talaga ang pwet mo!! nyahaha!!

Ikaw, sasama ka ba sa libing ko???

1.8.09

Memory gap

Days ago, nakausap ko ulit ang best bud ko, na bago-bago pa lang nakikipagsapalaran sa dubai… nakita ko na syang nakaonline pero di ako nag-initiate ng conversation kasi sabi ko malamang kausap pa nya ang inaanak ko… maya maya nag-open na din sya ng conversation …

Kumustahan, work, family, homesickness.. tablahan, tawanan, kinalkal muli ang alaala ng aming masayang grupo, balitaan ng mga naiwan sa pinas..

comparisons ng buhay namin noon at ngayon… napagusapan ang mga miyembro ng aming grupo na may kanya kanya nang buhay… na kahit anong pagplaplano e hindi na namin makumpleto kahit isang beses at magawang makarating sa mga pambihirang pagkakataon..

aspirations sa buhay… short and long term goals.. mga balak na matagal nang binabalak na di pa rin matuloy tuloy… kulitan, seryosohan... marami nang nabago, mas seryoso na kami pareho sa buhay ngayon…

pakitaan ng pagmumukha sa webcam, tablahan ulit! Ansarap tirahin ng harapan ang katropa mo, lalo pa’t katabi nya ang misis nya tapos uungkatin mo ang mga nakaraang relationships na malamang e di nya ipinapaalam sa misis nya… ansarap manggawa ng kwento at magimbento ng pangalan… ang sarap pag-awayin nung dalawa! Wahahaha!

natapos ang mahigit 3 oras, nagpaalaman… ingat-ingat.. til next tym daw..

Fast forward….

Nagising ako kaninang madaling araw, nag-aalarm cp ko, 420 am, oras na para bumangon…

huh??! Teka! Parang kakatulog ko pa lang??!

checked ko 2nd cp ko... 1:30 am?! Huuhhh??!!

Checked yung watch ko, 1:20 am…. amf!!
Checked 1st cp again, syete! Mali pala time and date settings… adjust, adjust, adjust…

Set ulit alarm.. ok na… tulog pa ulit…
Nag-alarm ulit, reminder: “Bday olags e – tom” huh???!

f*ck!! Nung minsan pa to! One day ealier pa ang settings, e anong petsa na ngayon??

At kachat ko xa nung araw na yun ah??!! Amf talaga!!
Pano ko ngayon ipapaliwanag na kasalanan ng cp ko ang lahat??
Sa haba ng pinasamahan namin, ngayon ko lang nalimutan ang bday nya… buti pa nung bday nung inaanak ko at ng wifey nya, naalala ko silang batiin… hahaha!! Talaga naman….

Di ko naman maiidahilan na signs of aging, memory gap… “bawal ang pork?” wala naman akong nakakain na pork for more than 6 months na!

Pero may nabasa akong nakakaapekto daw sa performance ng brain at memory ang di pagkain ng breakfast… pwede kayang palusot yun?? Amf!

Ayan na, nag-online na ulit sya… bahala na si batman! Haizzzz…

29.7.09

"run forrest run!"

Forrest Gump and St. Peter


When Forrest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forrest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."


"Okay," said Forrest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "


"Yes, Forrest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?2) How many seconds are in a year? 3) What is God's first name?


"Well, sir," said Forrest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."


St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."


"The next question," said Forrest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."


"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ..."


St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."


"And the last question," said Forrest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."


"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"


"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forrest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."



St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forrest, Run!"

25.7.09

useless facts (part 2)


26. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.


27. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.


28. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.


29. All polar bears are left-handed.


30. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.


31. Butterflies taste with their feet.


32. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.


33. Starfish have no brains.


34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.


35. If you keep a gold fish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.


36. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.


37. Cats’ urine glows under a black light.


38. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.


39. The human heart creates enough pressure in the bloodstream to squirt blood 30 feet.


40. A jellyfish is 95% water.


41. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.


42. Elephants only sleep for two hours each day.


43. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. (the heart is not a muscle)


44. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.


45. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.


46. You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.


47. “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.


48. People say “bless you” when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.


49. A shrimp’s heart is in its head.


50. Pearls melt in vinegar.


51. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode.


52. Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression can weaken your immune system.


53. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.


54. Now that you have gone through the list it is up to you to figure out which facts are true and which facts are false.

useless facts (part 1)


1. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn’t digest itself.



2. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.



3. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.


4. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print.


5. Camel’s have three eyelids.


6. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day.


7. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system.


8. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON’T TRY IT, DUMBASS)


9. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original.


10. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.


11. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.


12. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.


13. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.


14. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.


15. The sound you hear when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head.


16. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.


17. 101. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.


18. A snail can sleep for 3 years.


19. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.


20. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.


21. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.


22. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.


23. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.


24. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse’s legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


25. An American urologist bought Napoleon’s penis for $40,000.



22.7.09

butterfly effect

the concept that small events can have large, widespread consequences. a metaphor for the existence of seemingly insignificant moments that alter history and shape destinies. typically unrecognized at first, they create threads of cause and effect that appear obvious in retrospect, changing the course of a human life.


“wala ka sigurong sinasabi puro ka action…. nasasaiyo nayan pre! diskarte mo.”

one month ago, these striking words really opened my eyes into verge of bliss and ecstasy and caused rippling butterfly effect into my life.

19.7.09

ikaw, ako at si anselmo

sa tuwing naaalala ko yung mga kwento mo, ikaw at si anselmo, di ko maiwasang mainggit sa kanya.

mabuti pa talaga sya, andami mong panahon para sa kanya. maigsi pa ang panahong ipinagkakilala nyo, at sa totoo lang mas matagal pa tayong magkakilala, pero andami nyo na agad pinagdaanan.

mas madaming kwento mo ang narinig nya, mas madaming emosyon mo ang hindi mo ikinahiyang ipakita sa kanya. di mabilang na sikreto mo ang nalaman na nya. e ako?

buti pa nga sya kahit di nya hingin ang oras mo, lagi kang may panahon sa kanya. buti pa sya konting papansin lang nya sayo, di mo maiwasang di magbigay ng atensyon sa kanya..

buti pa nga sya, paulit ulit na nyang nasilayan ang maamo mong mukha at ang malaanghel mong ngiti. ilan beses ka na nga ba nyang napatawa? buti pa sya….

ano ba ang pakiramdam ng laging nasa tabi mo? ano bang pakiramdam ng mahawakan ka? gaano ba kalambot ang iyong mga pisngi ? ang iyong mga labi? buti pa sya…


ano bang meron sya na wala ako??? sana ako na lang si anselmo…

16.7.09

echoes of our hearts

Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts.

We all fall in love and there are times that we love so much that we lose ourselves on our own emotions. More often than not, we wonder why there are love that grows and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answers and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started.

We cannot question love but it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been -- silent, mysterious and deeply profound.

Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies. Only to be disillusion in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing.

We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled. But love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands for we may never find a strength to let it go when it decides to leave We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it lasts. And then freely open arms when it’s time to say goodbye.

When we fall in love with someone we don’t want that feeling to end for it is everything we are and everything that we wanted to be. We prayed that love would stay and grow in our hearts. But if it doesn’t, then we should never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not end where heartaches begin.


There’s always a reason why we have to move on. When we have to say goodbye to the feelings that we wanted to stay to forever, let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart. For love will have to set its wings free and find a place where it belongs.

We may have lost it, but then again, when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feeling, resounding silently forever. Then we’ll know that it has never left us, for the good that we have become because of love will always stay. It will always be there reminding us that we should be thankful and happy. Not because we have lost love but because for once in our lives, that feeling lived in our hearts and made us happy. -- jdm

*pic from flikr

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