"run forrest run!"

Forrest Gump and St. Peter

When Forrest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forrest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."

"Okay," said Forrest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "

"Yes, Forrest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?2) How many seconds are in a year? 3) What is God's first name?

"Well, sir," said Forrest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."

"The next question," said Forrest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."

"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ..."

St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."

"And the last question," said Forrest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."

"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"

"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forrest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."

St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forrest, Run!"

useless facts (part 2)

26. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.

27. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

28. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

29. All polar bears are left-handed.

30. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

31. Butterflies taste with their feet.

32. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

33. Starfish have no brains.

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

35. If you keep a gold fish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

36. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

37. Cats’ urine glows under a black light.

38. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

39. The human heart creates enough pressure in the bloodstream to squirt blood 30 feet.

40. A jellyfish is 95% water.

41. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

42. Elephants only sleep for two hours each day.

43. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. (the heart is not a muscle)

44. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

45. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

46. You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

47. “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

48. People say “bless you” when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.

49. A shrimp’s heart is in its head.

50. Pearls melt in vinegar.

51. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode.

52. Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression can weaken your immune system.

53. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.

54. Now that you have gone through the list it is up to you to figure out which facts are true and which facts are false.

useless facts (part 1)

1. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn’t digest itself.

2. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

3. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

4. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print.

5. Camel’s have three eyelids.

6. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day.

7. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system.

8. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON’T TRY IT, DUMBASS)

9. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original.

10. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

11. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

12. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

13. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

14. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

15. The sound you hear when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head.

16. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

17. 101. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

18. A snail can sleep for 3 years.

19. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

20. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

21. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.

22. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

23. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

24. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse’s legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

25. An American urologist bought Napoleon’s penis for $40,000.